Schalke fans might want to skip this. Everybody else, who has seen enough of Bayern players in Lederhosen and WAGs in Dirndls, can skip this as well.

It’s Oktoberfest time in Munich again and Bayern paid a visit. As they do every year. And either Bayern are already operating on a level, where a 0-0 draw away at Hoffenheim equals a horrible defeat, or they really would have rather spend their day someplace else.

Prove positive that you can have alcohol without fun. That is until the team’s three true Bavarians Bastian Schweinsteiger, Philipp Lahm (the one hidden under the big hat) and Thomas Müller get the party started…

Later, things got a bit more interesting, when Chelsea’s Didier Drogba checked by with his “boyfriend” to support the Manuel Neuer Kids Foundation.

via 101GreatGoals

Kyriakos Papadopoulos tries to read out Hans Sarpei’s favorite Facebook pages.

Up until two months ago, Hans Sarpei’s sole 15 seconds of Internet fame was a YouTube clip of him getting a ball in the face. But now he suddenly stands alongside of Chuck Norris.

All thanks to none other than Felix Magath – a Facebook legend himself – who signed him.

In case you wondered, Hans Sarpei is Schalke’s 35 year old Ghanaian/German defender, who was one of those Felix Magath jobless-over-thirty signings. Different to Ali Karimi or Angelos Charisteas he still is at Schalke, usually sitting on the bench, or threatening team mates via Twitter, that they are about to be transferred to Wolfsburg. The combination of him being a typically odd Magath transfer and his positive attitude and cheerful character have eventually turned him into a fan favorite. From there the Schalke bloggers of web04.de pushed him to Internet stardom, by creating Facebook pages like Hans Sarpei Likes This, to use them to comment on Schalke related posts. Trigger snowball – and now Chuck Norris is no longer the only one who can make onions cry, or slam a revolving door. Hans Sarpei can do that too, and more.

If you haven’t liked enough useless Facebook pages lately, here’s a short list of Hans Sarpei facts:

Hans Sarpei can knock over balls.

Hans Sarpei can play two passes with one touch.

Hans Sarpei on the cover of Fifa 13.

Hans Sarpei can stand faster than you can run.

Hans Sarpei can save his own penalty.

Hans Sarpei can send off the referee.

Hans Sarpei can fine Felix Magath (no page yet – but pretty sure he can)

Hans Sarpei gives Chuck Norris a Roundhouse kick.

Hans Sarpei knows the Krabby Patty secret formula.

Windows 7 was Hans Sarpei’s idea.

Hans Sarpei can talk to the bus driver.

Hans Sarpei can barbecue under water.

Hans Sarpei can milk cows with his feet.

My Name is Hans Sarpei. The L stands for danger.

In Scrabble, if you spell Hans Sarpei, you’ll win. Forever.

Hans Sarpei can finish Doodle Jump.

Facing an uphill battle in the Europa League and the premature exit of Raul, Schalke fans could use some cheering up. Few players are better suited for such a task than Brazilian striker Ailton – in particular when he is riding a horse to training.

It took 810 days and cost €60m to renovate the Mercedes Benz Arena, and Stuttgart made sure that investing all the time and money was absolutely worth it. Most notably, the running track is gone, of course, and the capacity has been bumped to 60441. But some thought has also been put into the rest of the match day experience, resulting in the men’s toilets behind the curve offering a view onto the field. Never miss a second of the action and pray that things don’t get messi when a goal is scored.

… or maybe they haven’t.

Though, I’m pretty sure they meant to say something like: Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays!

The player in question on Tuesday was Hamburg’s Frank Rost. Congratulations to ED and Ollie who figured out the correct answer. Half a point goes to our Bayern blogger Luke, who spotted Nuremberg’s Frankenstadion. That half a point is deducted again, because he potentially confused the other readers by claiming Cologne played their last match there – Nuremberg hosted Hamburg of course.

But now on to the above photo: the Santa Clauses are clearly rooting for…

By 1977 Franz Beckenbauer had pretty much won every trophy there is to win in international football and so he decided to broaden his horizons and deepen his pockets and become a teammate of Pele at the New York Cosmos. During his stay there he lived next door to Rudolf Nureyev. Rudolf Nureyev you ask? Isn’t that the famous Russian ballett dancer, who defected to the west, joined the Royal Ballet, changed our perception of male dancers, crossed borders between ballet and modern dance and who later became director of the Paris Opera Ballet? Then I look these things up on Wikipedia and answer: yes, that Rudolf Nureyev. And the two became good friends…

Faculty is Kaiserspeak but I presume you still get what it means.

There are English subtitles. If you don’t see the subtitles, then click on the button in the bottom right corner of the video and activate them.

Who is celebrating in this photo?

One of these players just doesn’t belong. Can you tell which player is not like the others?

From left to right: Schalke’s Jermaine Jones, Benedikt Höwedes, Kevin Kuranyi and Manuel Neuer.

You might need YouTube to solve this one.

This is or was the crest of … ?