Jürgen Klopp can’t do Europe. He got knocked out in the first round of the UEFA Cup with Mainz and Dortmund. He didn’t make it past the group stage of the Europa League with Dortmund. And now it looks increasingly likely the same will happen to him in the Champions League. To his credit, he had the underdog excuse at Mainz. But at Dortmund his otherwise well drilled defense, continuously has decisive lapses of concentration. Something his wasteful offense struggles to compensate. Let’s hope for both Klopp and his young team, that this is still part of the learning curve. One that is at its’ low point, following the deserved defeat at the hands of Olympiacos.

Bernd Leno, a bit of experience and Andre Schürrle can get you a long way. And Robin Dutt out of trouble. The under fire coach witnessed his team giving him a clear vote of no confidence in the first half against Valencia. At least, that’s what everybody in the stadium and at home in front of the TV thought they were seeing. Valencia played Leverkusen off the park in even more devastating fashion than Gladbach last weekend. They outshot Leverkusen 13 to 0 in the first 40 minutes of the match. But luckily, and thanks to Bernd Leno, only scored one. This opened the door for the unlikely to happen. Everybody witnessed something unheard of at “Neverkusen”: a gutsy comeback, orchestrated by Michael Ballack’s experience and class and Andre Schürrle’s and Sidney Sam’s individual quality. This was followed by something seemingly even unlikelier: a clear vote of confidence by the team for Robin Dutt – when everybody stormed to the coach for excessive and aggressive hugging. This should give Dutt some breathing space, until Leverkusen lose their next match.

Copenhagen’s helping hand wasn’t enough for Hannover. Two great strikes from distance by Pander and Pinto, carefully set up by Copenhagen defenders, weren’t enough to help Hannover to their first Europa League home win. Hannover have yet to get used to teams visiting the AWD Arena, to do, what Hannover normally does best, be patient and strike on quick counter attacks. It didn’t help either, that Ron-Robert Zieler made a rare mistake, when trying to clear a ball in his box. Hannover are still in a good position to qualify from the group, but will have to rely on strong away performances.

Schalke didn’t need any help, but got it anyway. Schalke didn’t have to do much for their highest away victory in Europe. That didn’t stop a Larnaca defender to accurately pass the ball back to Huntelaar, so he could make it 5-0. Based on this game, Schalke should aim for their highest home win in Europe, when they meet Larnaca in two weeks. This might also be a good opportunity for Raul to work on his personal European goalscoring record.

This feels like the only fitting way. Put the ball in the back of the net yourself, if no other team is able to. Holger Badstuber put it there – under pressure – to Napoli’s credit. Philipp Lahm failed to deal with Maggio – to Badstuber’s credit. And so Manuel Neuer’s record run – across all competitions – ended after 1147 minutes. The game ended in a drab 1-1 draw after 93 minutes. The referee missed a handball by Schweinsteiger, that would have been a penalty. The referee didn’t miss a handball by Cannavaro, but Gomez missed the penalty. All square in the end.

Borussia Dortmund mark return to the Champions League with a bang. And a missed opportunity. Dortmund’s game against Arsenal was eerily similar to their Europa League matches against Sevilla and Paris last season. Dortmund dominated proceedings and failed to convert their dominance into goals. The opponent defended well and converted their one or two chances into goals. Thanks to Ivan Perisic’s wonder volley Dortmund at least salvaged a draw this time around. Though, one positive Dortmund can take from this match, is that their style of football scales well from the Bundesliga/Europa League up to the Champions League. If they can find a way to finish their chances, they’ll get beyond the group stage this time around.

It’s never too late to give Michael Ballack a proper send off. That’s a lesson German football could learn from Chelsea. After missing out on biding farewell to Ballack, following his FA Cup final injury last year, Chelsea used the opportunity of his return to Stamford Bridge to make good for it. They were even polite enough, not to score on Leverkusen while he was still on the pitch. Despite losing, Leverkusen can still take some positives from the match. Their defense wasn’t as bad as people feared and Bernd Leno in goal is indeed as good as people predicted.

Bayern intent to be the Death in Group of Death. Villareal may also intent to be the worst team in the group. We don’t know yet. But Bayern’s controlled and dominant performance against Villareal was the best of any team on the first matchday. They struggled to put away their chances, keeping the game open for a bit too long, if you need to look for something to criticize.

Hanover need to get used to starting matches as favorites. Or they need to try and get all their points on the road. While Hanover weren’t playing badly, and weren’t in danger of losing the match, they struggled to find a way past Liege without having many opportunities for counter attacks. With a sell out crowd of 44000, there probably hasn’t been a team happier to play in the Europa League than Hannover in a while, and it would be a shame if the fans keep showing up for boredraws.

Schalke need to get used to playing the full 90 minutes of a match. A good second half, a good first half hour, lackluster 90 minutes. Schalke keep producing 90 minutes worth of mixed bags. Though, in this case it’s likely they spent more time worrying about the game against Bayern, than about doing everything to win in Bucharest Cluij – against Bucharest.

…and the following group stage draw.

Klaas-Jan Huntelaar is a decent striker. Quite a bit more than decent, but following his disappointing first season at Schalke (13 goals in 35 matches in all competitions), we’ll only slowly roll out the superlatives. Anyway, he has now scored 12 in 6 and made sure Schalke’s Europa League season wasn’t disappointingly cut short. Next stops: Larnaca (Cyprus), Haifa (Israel) and Bucharest (Romania) – looks like an easy draw. At least as easy as Helsinki…

Bayern get the job done. That’s all there is to say about their group stage play-offs. An early goal against Zurich and the tie was over and Bayern weren’t interested in repeating their performance against Hamburg. Or maybe, or rather, very likely, Zurich are currently also a much better side than Hamburg.

Being a top seed is useless (sometimes). Most people expected/worried that it would much rather be Leverkusen (3rd seed) and Dortmund (4th seed), who would end up in “deadly” groups. And while Leverkusen (Valencia, Chelsea, Genk) and Dortmund (Arsenal, Marseille, Olympiakos) were drawn into fairly difficult groups, they could have been far worse off. Like Bayern, whose top seed earned them a Big Four group with difficult opposition from the three biggest leagues in Europe. Or two, depending on where you rank the Bundesliga. Dortmund with good chances to progress. Leverkusen will face tough opposition with Valencia. Bayern should still be favorites to go through, but can’t really afford any of their recent early season slip ups.

Hannover will finally see more of Europe than just Bremen’s Weserstadion. The last and only time Hannover qualified for Europe as DFB-Pokal winners, they were drawn against Cup Winner’s Cup holders Bremen in the first round and crashed out. After being drawn against Sevilla, many feared that their trip to Europe would be cut short again. Instead, Hannover pulled off one of the bigger upsets of the play-offs and knocked out back-to-back UEFA Cup winners Sevilla. They needed a bit of luck, a well organized defense and a few properly executed counter attacks. Pretty much the same recipe that turned them from nearly relegation to nearly Champions League material. Hannover have come a long way and will now get to travel to: Copenhagen (Denmark), Liege (Belgium) and Poltava (Ukraine). On paper they have better chances to survive this group than getting past Sevilla.

Schalke fans could save some time and money, if they only attend/watch the second half of their team. Schalke have now beaten their last three opponents by four goals to nil in the second half, always following disappointing/abject first half performances. At this point it seems like Ralf Rangnick himself doesn’t quite know what he always does wrong sending his team into a match, and what he always does right sending his team out after half-time. All I know is, that Schalke have turned from one of the most uninspired and boring teams under Magath into one of the most spectacular to watch teams under Rangnick. Where that will lead them? Who knows, but it should be entertaining – one way or another.

1. Claim the captaincy while the current captain is injured.
2. Let Bastian Schweinsteiger lead the way on the pitch.
3. Brown nose your current coaches.
4. Diss your former coaches.
5. Write a book about it*

* Translation: The fine line – How to become a top professional.

Sorry Marc-Andre ter Stegen, Ron-Robert Zieler, Bernd Leno, Thomas Kraft, Oliver Baumann, Sven Ulreich, Ralf Fährmann and Kevin Trapp, but you are not enough. Oliver Kahn thinks Germany needs even more talented young goalkeepers, and he is going to find them starting next May.

Former Germany captain and goalkeeper Oliver Kahn is set to bring a football reality show, which looks to unearth new talent, to German TV after it proved successful in China.

Kahn’s show – Never Give Up – was a hit in the far east, as the ex-Bayern Munich star played a starring role in the series which put young aspiring goalkeepers through their paces with a series of challenges.

The idea is to bring the show to Germany with a contract at a Bundesliga club on offer for the winner of the series. – AFP

As long as he brings the title theme and his life advice with him I’ll be happy.

Hannover’s Ivorian striker Didier Ya Konan came on as a substitute for Jan Schlaudraff in yesterday’s Europa League play-off against Sevilla. While he didn’t have a direct impact on the game, he did produce this little gem. A great back-heel pass under pressure to Henning Hauger for a slightly delayed one-two. But instead of keeping the play alive by passing to Christian Pander on the left, he wasted all the great build-up with a futile attempt at goal. Still a nice move though.

Jan Schlaudraff had one of those games. He used to have a couple of those at Alemannia Aachen too. They earned him a call up to the national team and a premature transfer to Bayern Munich. From there it all went downhill for a couple of seasons, all the way to the point where Hannover desperately wanted to get rid of their top earner. But Mirko Slomka eventually found a role for him in his tactical setup and Jan Schlaudraff developed the necessary professional attitude to deliver consistent performances. If he mixes in a few match-winning performances, like the one against Sevilla, then we can probably look forward to the best-ever Jan Schlaudraff this season.

Mainz fans can breathe a sigh of relief. They still are the first Bundesliga club to get knocked out of the Europa League’s 3rd qualifying round which is embarrassing enough. But at least they weren’t beaten and the goals they conceded were somewhat unfortunate. But the award for worst and most embarrassing performance goes to Schalke for their 0-2 debacle in Finland. At least they were gracious enough to let Raul stay at home and spare him the humiliation. Schalke had such a wealth of creativity on the pitch, and wasted it all with countless bad passes while allowing too many dangerous counter attacks. Yet, Schalke’s performances were so topsy-turvy so far, that they might be able to pull off an improbable comeback.

Bayern’s defense is starting to get its’ act together. Bayern are still uninspired going forward, and you somewhat fear that this won’t change for some time. But their defense is starting to keep things together and produce clean sheets. Bayern’s sheer amount of individual class up front should produce the odd individual goal and that should be enough to get them reasonably far in all competitions this season.

You need to play it safe in Europe. What Thomas Tuchel intends to do at Mainz and what Ralf Rangnick hopes to implement at Schalke, promises the overall more entertaining football – once it’s ready. For the time being though, Hanover’s and Bayern’s conservative and cautious approach wins out. Hannover might still get knocked out by Sevilla, but at least they proved their worth against a team with more financial resources and big name players.

It’s time to dust off those old Serie A’s arguments about the Europa League and prepare to use them ourselves. The ones about clubs not caring about the Europa League and thus underperforming and all. It could be the first time ever no Bundesliga club reaches the group-stage of the Europa League. So better have some excuses ready for the odd online debate. This really threatens to be an off-season for the Bundesliga’s UEFA coefficients.

Schalke 04 and Valencia met once before in the knockout stages of a European competition. It was the quarter final of Schalke’s triumphant 1996/1997 UEFA Cup season. Valencia commanded some respect after knocking out holders Bayern Munich in the first round. The first leg was played in Gelsenkirchen and Valencia started the brighter of the two teams with Leandro having a great chance in the 2nd minute. Schalke needed half an hour to get into the match with Thomas Linke eventually heading Schalke in front minutes before half time. Marc Wilmots added a second in the 62nd minute to give Schalke a comfortable 2:0 first leg advantage. The second leg in Valencia was settled by an early Youri Mulder goal with Valencia only managing the equalizer in the 45th minute.

I think Schalke fans wouldn’t mind a little bit of history repeating tonight.